You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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