Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
