can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
