I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
