Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
