I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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