yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
