the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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