She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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