My nipple is on Facebook.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
