Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
