Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
