awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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