hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This is my gift to your gina
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
