Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
