I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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