Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
