I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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