I am in a vortex of obligation.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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