I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
