DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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