Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
