yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
