you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
