She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
