Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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