U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
