Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
