Tell her she can't have a vagina
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
