I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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