Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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