Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
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