we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
