Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
