guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
