i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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