Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
