we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
