and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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