Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just got carded by a ten year old.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
