Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
