White coat. Heels.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
