Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
