glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
