you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
