I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize