Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
