Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We are two peas in an std pod
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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