i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sorry about my life...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
