it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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