that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
