why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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