She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
