You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Enjoy the penises
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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