Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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