so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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