Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
