She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
