Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
