she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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