I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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