she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
